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Values

Strong values are applied to all interactions:

  • Ethics
  • Honesty
  • Fairness/Shows Respect
  • Dependability/Consistency
  • Gratitude
  • Confidence/Competence
  • Creativeness/Innovation
  • Positivity/Optimism
  • Open-mindedness
  • Seeking the greatest, highest good for all

 


Professional Memberships

 

Birmingham Society for Human Resource Management

 

Greater Birmingham Chapter: Association for Talent Development


 


Favorite Quotes

 

"Toleration . . . is the greatest gift of the mind; it requires that same effort of the brain that it takes to balance oneself on a bicycle." --Hellen Keller



Favorite Quotes

 

"Every problem has in it the seeds of its own solution. If you don't have any problems, you don't get any seeds." --Norman Vincent Peale



Favorite Quotes

 

"We must develop and maintain the capacity to forgive. He who is devoid of the power to forgive is devoid of the power to love." --Martin Luther King, Jr.



Favorite Quotes

 

"Far and away the best prize that life offers is the chance to work hard at work worth doing." --Theodore Roosevelt



Favorite Quotes

 

"The ideas I stand for are not mine. I borrowed them from Socrates. I swiped them from Chesterfield. I stole them from Jesus. And I put them in a book. If you don't like their rules, whose would you use?" --Dale Carnegie



Favorite Quotes

 

"Never impose on others what you would not choose for yourself." --Confucius



Favorite Quotes

 

"So whatever you wish that others would do to you, do also to them..."  --The Bible (ESV)


Arguing

If you want to master the principles of human relations, I recommend you read one of my all-time favorite books, "How to Win Friends and Influence People" by Dale Carnegie. Even though it has been updated for the Digital Age, I prefer the original version written in 1936. I read it for the first time in 2006 and wondered why it took me so long.

 

While the entire book is rich with wisdom that works when applied, one chapter stood out more than the others for me, and is one I immediately started applying with very positive results – "You Can't Win an Argument." To quote Benjamin Franklin, "If you argue and rankle and contradict, you may achieve a victory sometimes; but it will be an empty victory because you will never get your opponent's good-will."

So, how can one take a more healthy approach to people who want to draw you into an argument? According to this book, you can do the following:

  • Welcome the disagreement. You may be wrong and this will prevent you from making a mistake, or you may learn something new.
  • Distrust your first instinctive impression. Our first natural reaction is to be defensive. This may be you at your worst, not your best.
  • Control your temper. You can measure the size of a person by what makes him or her angry.
  • Listen first. Let the other person talk and let them finish. If you resist, defend or debate, it raises barriers.
  • Look for areas of agreement. Dwell first on the points and areas on which you agree.
  • Be honest. If you are wrong, admit it. Apologize for your mistakes. It will help disarm the other and reduce defensiveness.
  • Promise to think over your opponents' ideas and study them carefully. And, mean it!
  • Thank your opponents sincerely for their interest and honesty. In fact, if you can think of anything else to say to the argumentative person, just thank them for their honesty.
  • Postpone action to give both sides time to think though the problem. Suggest getting together at a new time, when you have had a chance to think through the facts.

I know this sounds like a lot to remember when you find yourself in the heat of an argument, but I hope you will believe me when I say this works SO MUCH BETTER than arguing. Remember, in arguing: when you lose you lose and when you win you lose.